“If I'm failing i'll poke him in the eye, kick him in the n*ts, anything to get that win, so he gotta train for all that sh*t.”

– via the 2026 Seasonal Press Conference, jokingly claiming he will resort to illegal tactics like eye pokes and groin kicks if necessary to defeat Waldo Cortes-Acosta, suggesting his opponent needs to train for everything.

“I think all his jokes and videos are funny. I don't even think it's intentional. My favorite video is when he jumped into the ice with head first”

– via the UFC 322 Press Conference, taking a playful jab at Merab Dvalishvili by claiming his favorite video of Dvalishvili is one where he jumped into the ice head first.

“Dillon Danis got TKO'ed at MSG tonight and he wasn’t even on the card”

– reacted to Dillon Danis's brawl against Islam Makhachev's camp at UFC 322

“Frankie Edgar, have some respect. Not only you former lightweight champion, me too. Have some respect, this is 45 degrees... I'm [the] youngest Hall of Famer in UFC history. Come on, not like everybody else”

– hilariously insisting the angle was 45 degrees while boasting about his legacy

“I love it, I love it”

– Frankie Edgar, responding in laughter after Khabib's students unanimously sided with their mentor's incorrect assessment.

“I think as long as [Merab] is doing the work... he's gonna be prepared, but he owes us all a vacation after this. The training partners need a break”

– via Ariel Helwani YT Channel

“It's time they come out of the closet and embrace who they are. They're Canadians. When Khabib says 'send location,' he doesn't mean mountains, he means Montreal, because that's where he learned to wrestle”

– via B-Team Jiu Jitsu, joking that Khabib and Islam are Canadians.

“It's time they come out of the closet and embrace who they are. They're Canadians. When Khabib says 'send location,' he doesn't mean mountains, he means Montreal, because that's where he learned to wrestle”

– via B-Team Jiu Jitsu, joking that Khabib and Islam are Canadians.

“He’s not wearing an eye”

– patch. He’s just so committed, he’s the perfect athlete. Everything we talk about, he remembers, every combination. He has multiple coaches working with him right now, and he’s just a sponge. He reminds me a lot of myself when I was 25 years old, just, a lot more disciplined. - mocked Tom Aspinall by praising Gable Steveson after the latter's KO victory at Dirty Boxing 4

“Of the 15 that ran, you were the first! Now go back to the end of the line”

– responds to Joaquin Buckley after Buckley claimed he turned down a fight against him back in 2022.

“If (the UFC) go to São Paulo and he does a retirement ceremony again where he goes and puts his gloves down, I’m throwing something at my TV”

– via ESPN MMA

“The game plans to knee the nuts a bunch; it was working perfectly. No, dude, I swear I was kneeing the body. That guy's hips are up by my n***les, man. It's hard to get a knee that high.”

– jokes kick to the d**k was an accident

“I had it first. Ilia Topuria uses my song”

– jokes about Ilia Topuria's walkout song

“Holy sh*t, I didn?t know it was you. I thought for a second, ?Wait, is that the champ?? Oh, okay. No one told me”

– reacted to Dricus du Plessis turning up to interview him.

“As promised, I said after the fight I was going to come back to the tire shop,Ankalaev was right. We are here today giving presence as always every time I come to Brazil I come to the tire shop. This is it right here, everyone...Here, this is a place that has a very beautiful story. Chama.”

– Pereira said in his instagram video.

“It was such a hot ticket that 1, as the UFC HW and LHW champion, had to buy the tickets... The fight breaks out, and Khabib is completely losing his mind about getting his belt... Finally, Khabib calms down. Dana gives me money back for calming Khabib. He goes, "I don't know if I would have been able to get this situation under control without you.”

– Daniel Cormier about Khabib vs. Conor fight

“First UFC fighter to take 100 takedowns.Only 5 of those were on me. I didn't let him get that many takedowns on me because I didn't get up.”

“Maybe a spelling bee competition vs Nathaniel would be the hardest fight of both of our careers”

“I wouldn't want to. I'd do it for money. We'll start low. We'll go$5 million.”

“Luke [Rockhold] had a girl lined up. He wants nothing more than to leave the gym, so he convinces me... I want someone to tell me to go. And everybody's like, 'no, you got to lose more weight, and I look at Luke and he's like, 'he's fine, let him go: I'm like, 'yo, we should listen to Luke! And so I listen to that moron, and I left. That's what happened, bro. I hope whoever it was was worth it to Luke because then I had to have the most embarrassing moment of my career.”